Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Toothpaste and Political humor

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I told you the other day that son #4 went to have his teeth cleaned
for the very first time. You’d think he’d never seen a toothbrush
before (we promise he has mom!)

My sweet wife said that he’s been enamored with the new toothbrush
he got from my mom when he went to the dentist. Yesterday he
brushed his teeth 4 times. He’s even washed his hands with the
toothpaste. He carries his toothbrush and toothpaste with him all
of the time. When my sweet wife and son #4 went to pick up son #1
from school he took his dental tools with him. He wanted to brush
his teeth again, and my sweet wife said, “Wait until we get home.”
Half way there, with a mouth full of toothpaste foam, he complained
that there wasn’t a place to spit.

Maybe he’ll be a dentist. They make lots of money don’t they?

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


Ok, and I think this is my favorite joke now. I just ~have~ to put it
in the Blog


Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southern Republican? With
elections coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test
that may help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between a Democrat, a
Republican and a Southern Republican?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly
swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends
for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer: BANG!


Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter's voice,
"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"


Post a Comment

<< Home