Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

A Day in the life...

Visit our Sponsors!

Gophercentral Archives
GopherCentral Archives - the #1 spot for past newsletters from the GopherCentral.com, your #1 source for free newsletters and ezines . From news and hobbies to laughs and sports, we've got the best!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

[Didn’t miss me yesterday, did you? Didn’t think so...]

A Day in the life of...

At work:
He: “Hi”
She: “What’s up?”
He: “Nothing, how about you?”
She: “Oh, just wondering if we’re doing anything tonight?”
He: “I dunno. There’s that church thing.”
She: “Oh, ok… Remember, we’ve got pack meeting tomorrow night.”
He: “Oh yeah. Maybe we can do date night tonight.”
She: “Ok”

At home:
He: “Can you guys make your own dinner?”
#2: “Yeah, I guess”
He: “I’m taking your mom out to dinner.”
#2: “Ok”
He: “Please lock the door behind us so #4 doesn’t escape.”
#1: “Ok”

He: “Where do you want to go to eat?”
She: [always the compassionate and concerned one] “The neighbor had
his knee replaced today, let’s go see his wife and see how he’s
doing first.”

Across the street in the neighbor’s living room:
He/She: “Everything ok?”
Neighbor: “Everything’s fine.”
All: Hears kids yelling and playing across the street.
He: [Thinking to himself] Wow, my kids are loud.
He: Looks out the window. Watches rowdy boys having a water fight.
She: “We were just going out, see ya.”
Neighbor: “Thanks for stopping over.”
He: [Taking credit] “No problem, always thinking of our neighbors.”

The kids are back inside:
She: “So where do you want to go?”
He: “Chinese place down the street?”
She: “Sure”

At Restaurant:
Waiter: “Where are the kids? You never bring them in anymore.”
He: “They’re too expensive to feed. Mac and Cheese at home is
She: “I’ll order this.”
He: “I’ll order that.”

Call #1 from home:
She: “Hello?”
She: “Yes, yes you can. It’s in the cupboard.”
She: “One can of water, or you can use milk if you want it
She: “Ok, love you. Bye.”

He/She: Chit/Chat

Call #2 from home:
She: “uh huh.”
She: “Ok, uh huh. Ok, yes, ok.”
She: 20 seconds of silence
She: Rolling her eyes.
She: “Ok, are you bleeding?”
She: “Is he ok?”
She: “Goodbye”

She to He: “#3 was jumping around and hit the back of #2’s head
with his teeth.”
He: “Wonderful”

Call #3 from home:
She to He: “It’s home again. You answer it this time.”

[It’s #3 wanting to tell his side of the story]

He: “Hello?”
#3: “Is mom there?”
He: “She’s busy. What do you need?”
#3: “I need to talk to mom.”
He: “No you don’t. We’re out to eat. We’ll see you when we get

In the car:
She: [hints] “Do you want to do anything else?”
He: [clueless] “I don’t know. I can’t think of anything.”
[Drives home]

In the car – in the driveway:
She: [again hints] “We don’t have to go inside, do we?”
He: [still clueless, but doesn’t want to go in either] [And acting
compassionate to get browning points] “No I’d rather sit out here
and talk with you.”

He: Brownie points scored = 16.5

More Chit/Chat

20 minutes later the front door opens, #4 comes sneaking out,
slightly hunched over, with a cheesy grin on his face.

He: “SHHH!!”
She: Silent

2 feet before he hits his head on the open car door he stops, he
sees Mom and Dad, gets a very frightened look on his face.

#4: Puts on a huge smile on his face
#4: Realizing he’s been caught – smile turns to a “cat-ate-the-
#4: “MOM! DAD!”
She: “What are you doing sneaking outside little boy?”
#4: Silence
She: “Well?”
#4: More Silence
He: “Tell us what you were doing young man.”
#4: “Just playing”

More Chit/Chat & Teasing #4
3 1/2 minutes later

He: I’ll call inside and ask where #4 is.
#1: “Hi dad”
He: “Hey bud, how’s everything going?”
#1: “Ok”
He: “Has anyone killed anyone yet?”
#1: “No”
He: “Can I talk to #4?”
#1: “Um... Uh... Yeah... Just a minute”

She to #4: “Quick, lie down on the back seat and hide!”

60 seconds later - #1 runs out the front door, looks at the car
with wide WIDE eyes and a confused look on his face.

#1: Walks to the car still confused. Silence

#4 pops his head out from seat in the back. [Perfect timing, scares
his brother to death]
#4: “Hi [#1]!”
#1: [With a ticked off, but relieved look on his face] “Hey!!”
He: “I see you were watching them close tonight ‘eh?”
#1: “DAD! I was looking for him before you called. Really!”

So, how was your day?

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

[Email from Justin today]
FYI... we're going camping this weekend, so I won't be able to do a
Friday JOTD.

[Have a great weekend Justin and the rest of you too!]

Reader Comment Section:

>The best place we could find was right over son #2's old hole. So
>he finally had to fill it, and he was none too happy about
>it. (not about losing the hole, but doing the work...) His pile of
>dirt is gone, so he's had to find other sources to fill it...

You know, I was doing some yardwork at my parents' next door to
your place the other day, and I found a big hole in their yard...
Just where did he get his dirt?

[Shhh... Your dad won’t notice, will he?]

Your story about your son reminded me a story a man told me when I
was serving my mission in Oklahoma. This fellow was being raised by
foster parents and he had gotten into some trouble. The father took
him a side and told him that his wife wanted a swimming pool and to
start digging. He dug and dug for weeks, until he had a perfect
hole for a swimming pool. The father then took him a side and told
him that they had changed their minds about the pool and that he
had to fill the hole in. So see you could have been using this
(digging a hole and filling it in) as punishment. Your a good Dad!
Take care, and Happy Fathers Day to you.
Doug L.

[Ouch, that’s cruel...]


Post a Comment

<< Home